Hey guys. I know I haven't posted a journal in yonks and this time I don't have an acceptable excuse as to why. Actually, in a sense I do have a reason, but I'll get to that a bit further along.

If everything in this journal sounds like a random muddle of words, I apologise. I just really need to get all of this of my chest.

Lately, everything is going wrong. People ignoring me, staring at me like I'm a freak, whispering and muttering behind my back . . . I feel like an outcast, someone who's regarded as something akin to rotting garbage lying around in the corner. I'm not good enough to be associated with. I can't do anything without something going wrong. With my schoolwork, no matter how hard I work, how much effort I put in, it's just disappointment after disappointment after disappointment. I'm not good enough for anybody. There's always something wrong with what I do: my hair's too frizzy, my work not up to my teacher's ridiculous standards, my thighs too fat, my face too round. It's not just other people; I'm reprimanding myself, too.

I'm sick of everything. School, home, how fat and stupid I am . . . you name it. I'm sick of being such a jealous bitch because of what others have. I'm sick and tired of my inability to speak my mind, to put people back in their place. I want to scream out all the anger, sadness and pain plaguing my every waking hour, to escape the remnants of tears I wipe away with my hand. I wish to not feel as though I'm trapped inside a box.

I just want the world to stop.

-

I'm so sorry, guys. I had to get it out somehow.

-

CLUBS